Nana Kim

We has some very sudden tragic news last week: Nana Kim died. Mike found her on a Tuesday, Sept. 11 in the afternoon. Mike was able to get a hold of Dan, who came home right away. After giving Dan some love we told the kids. I think the suddenness of it caught everyone off guard. I didn't want to confuse the kids by saying "Nana Kim is gone" so I said "Nana Kim is dead." It sounded so harsh but I wanted to make sure the kids new exactly what had happened.
I watched a curtain of sadness come down in Jacob's eyes and his body tense up. Jack started to cry and I was able to comfort him in a hug. Amelia just sat there in shock not quite sure what to do or what it all meant. We prayed as a family thanking God for giving us Nana Kim, that she will be restored and for comfort for all of us.
As we were leaving, I was running around packing, Dan suggest stopping at Taco Time on the way over for some food. Jack immediately started crying because that was the last place we saw Nana Kim. He said it made him too sad to go there. Dan was able to comfort him with a big hug.
Once we were settled at Umma and Uppa's the next day I sat down with the kids to talk more about what was going to happen next. I reassured the kids it was ok to be happy and sad, and that it was ok to be "normal." I could see that gave Jacob a lot of relief because he wasn't sure how he was suppose to act. Jack said he was happy most of the time but sad sometimes.
As the next days went on, the kids brought it up briefly with Umma, since she was taking care of them while we dealt with other things. I feel so grateful and blessed to have Umma help; I trust that she can care for their feelings and give them space to talk about whatever they need.
Next Saturday will be the funeral service. We gave the kids the choice of going; all of them said they wanted to. It will be their first funeral service. I am hoping we can get there early enough to give them space to look around, ask questions and be together as a family before everyone gets there. Funerals are hard so I am relying on God's love and wisdom to guide me to help the kids process this.

For all the "mother-in-law" aspects to Kim and I's relationship I really did try to get out of the way so the kids and her could build their own relationship. Grandparents are really just pure love and joy to a grandchild; I wanted to make sure the kids felt that from Kim. Her love for them, and Dan, will be missed.